The Replacements

It's been a while since Jord has posted...

so you are in for a laugh today.

(Seriously, my husband is dang funny!!)

Enjoy!

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We’re officially through the Replacement Referee Fiasco in the NFL.  Things have pretty much returned back to normal, meaning that fans still hate the refs, replacement or not.  Have fans ever liked referees?  Only referees can receive a standing ovation and then 15 minutes later get booed. (Well, besides BYU quarterbacks)

All of this being said, can you imagine a worse situation than being a replacement referee in the NFL for the past four weeks?  Here you are a very humble manager of your local IHOP who likes to referee little league football games on the side, and now you’re expected to relay calls to a stadium full of 50,000 crazed people who hate you.  

Sounds a lot like being a dad.

As a dad I feel like a replacement referee every time my wife leaves me with our son by myself.  My wife runs a pretty tight ship.  She's a great mom, and our son respects that. 

Enter me (aka the replacement ref)—the second that I put 100% apple juice instead of half water, half apple juice in his sippy cup, it’s all over.

Fueled by a sippy cup full of sugar and the fact that I don’t know a Gerber Graduate from a swim diaper, Bost pushes every boundary.  Next thing I know he’s unrolling all of our toilet paper down the halls, running naked through the kitchen, and dunking his binky in the toilet. By the time I clean up one mess, he’s on to bigger and better messes.   

It’s like the Rams taking shots at RG3.  I'm finding my favorite hoodie smeared with what I hope is applesauce. The bedtime ritual feels more like the botched MNF call.  I know what I’m doing, but I'm just so frazzled from the baby powder in my eye and the never-ending loop of Clubhouse Disney songs that I’m putting diapers on backwards and butt paste on Elmo.

The good news is that our son is still alive despite his replacement parent.

And I’m pretty sure that the NFL will still make gajillions this year despite the replacement refs.

So let’s cut the replacement guys some slack.  We’re They’re just doing the best that they can.