Oh, he's just teething...

With an 8 month-old child, we're constantly on the look-out for that bittersweet first tooth. Sweet because growing teeth is a natural step on the path towards looking like a normal human being, and bitter because, frankly, our baby has turned into a temperamental bundle of joy with mood swings worse than a wo- er, they're pretty bad.

When we began thinking that Boston was teething we consulted one of thirteen abnormally large baby books that we have lying around the house.  These books are written by expert doctors who have years of experience in a lab doing all kinds of research and who have, conveniently enough, never actually had kids. The books range from Your Baby's First Poop to 1,115 Steps to Properly Installing Your Child's Car Seat.  . 

The one that we're currently consulting is on teething, which emphatically teaches the signs of teething in your child.  The signs are numerous and sometimes downright frightening.  Here are some examples:


Unwillingness to eat

Change in sleep pattern

Abnormal bowel movements (abnormal is a very polite way of putting it)

Listening to really loud music

Constantly asking to borrow the car

This has led us to now blame everything on teething.  I mean everything.   

Oh, he's crying?  Those darn teeth!

He hasn't pooped for two weeks?  Must be teething.  Poor guy.

It's gotten so bad that it's expanded out from just Bost, and to all of the things in our home.

-Honey, the computer's not working again.  
-Oh, it's probably just teething again.

 Man, this cake really turned out bad didn't it?  Oven must be teething again.

It's actually quite liberating to have such a readily accessible scape goat. Well, I've got to run the car to the shop real fast- it's teething again.


1 comment:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHA! Genius, I say. Why didn't I think of that scapegoat?