Confessions of a Backpacker

It's Jord again. Yeah, you thought you got rid of me for good. Wrong.

Kels gave you all the run-down of our adventures around the world but she left the fun little details of our trip for me to tell. So here you go. We'll call this 'Just When You Thought You Couldn't Feel Like More of a Hobo...."

1. As if drying off with a dirty T-shirt because you don't have a towel wasn't hobo enough we dried off with a dirty towel we bought from the basement of an old Jewish Babushka in Estonia that has a picture of Garfield speaking an unidentifiable language.

2. As if going to perfume shops to spray yourselves with cologne and perfume to cover our stench on a daily basis wasn't hobo enough, Kels put on her whole ensemble of makeup at a Mary Kay store. Yep, foundation, blush, mascara, the whole enchilada.

3. As if growing a nasty beard over the ten day trip wasn't hobo enough I decided to see what I'd look like with a goatee, fu manchu, and mustache. Classy

Beard

A goatee Chuck Norris would be proud of. Speaking of Chuck Norris you can never pass up an opportunity for a Chuck Norris joke. Here ya go:

They once made a Chuck Norris toilet paper, but it wouldn't take crap from anybody.

One more.

The grass is always greener on the other side, unless Chuck Norris has been there. In that case the grass is most likely soaked in blood and tears.

Fu manchu!
Hola!

We did many other hoboish things. Such as sneaking into the girls' bathroom so I wouldn't have to pay the euro to get into the boys; eating soggy oatmeal out of a plastic cup with a fork; and many other things. But we don't have time for all of that.