I am a mother, and I love it.

My heart is full today. SO very full. Nothing spectacular happened to make me suddenly remember how blessed I am, but it has been a day filled with moments that I wish I could freeze. It has reminded me of how blessed I am to be a mother.

As I folded laundry on our bed, Boston ate pretzel sticks next to me and grabbed at my face with his sticky peanut butter & jelly hands, left over from lunchtime. I just stared at him as he bobbed up and down to Elmo and Cookie Monster singing, and I couldn't help but pull him in for a squeeze. I thought to myself:

He has his daddy's beautiful, long eyelashes.
He might be poopy.
I love his chubbiness.
Never grow up, okay Bost?

and then I thought...

How on earth am I this little person's mom??
I still feel like a kid-- how can I be raising one? And this perfect, round, happy boy, no less?

and then, as I put him down for his nap, and he cuddled into my shoulder to smell my hair, I thought:

He is perfect.

Before I was a mother, I was happy. I was content, and I was busy with my own agenda. I had a job, a job that paid me and praised me and promoted me. I had never-ending freedom, freedom to do whatever I wanted, whenever I pleased. I had only myself, and then a wonderful husband, to look after. I thought that life couldn't get any better.

Then I had a baby.
A sweet baby boy, with perfect olive skin and fluffy dark hair, and my life forever changed.

I felt a part of my heart go outside my body, and into his. He changes me every single day that I look at him, that I mother him, that I wonder how I was ever blessed with such a privilege as caring for a baby. 

He needs me, always. He needs me to feed him, to give him warm baths, to sing pat-a-cake and popcorn-popping with him. He needs me to snuggle him, to zip him up in warm jammies, to give him sippy cups of juice and to give him loves when he falls down. He depends on me, and I love it. As a mother, I have experienced a happiness that I never thought possible. Being needed, being loved, being warmed by a tiny body close to mine in the rocking chair at night-- this is what brings me the greatest joy I have ever experienced.

Boston boy, just one day old {july 2011}


  1. girl! this is beautiful! you are such a wonderful wonderful mother. someday i'll be a beautiful mom like you.

  2. Way to make my cry, Kels. Thanks a bunch! :) It's so true, isn't it?! You think you have it all until you have a kid and you realize that your life was definitely missing something before. And P.S. I can't believe how fast his hair changed colors! Such a huge difference!

  3. Seriously, my hormones can't handle this. Don't mind me crying over here. I so agree! Babies are so precious and such a blessing! Today we were on a walk and Luke leaned over in the stroller and leaned his head on to Dax's head and said, "I like Dax. You're my favorite little brother." Oh my heck, my heart melted. He came up with that on his own and it just amazed me to see the love they already have and I can't believe I'm their mom and get to be blessed by their sweet love all day everyday!

  4. Thank you for being such a wonderful mom to my grandson and an eternal companion to my son. Love you!