Bost, We Need to Talk.

Kels showed me this video of Bost and a girl from the neighborhood that Kels babysat:

I honestly didn't think that I would have to give Bost lady tips for at least another 16 years (or if I had it my way 21 years), but he's forced my hand.

Here's how our conversation went:

me:  Bost, Mommy showed me that video of you today.

bost:  (cute, two-fanged smile)

me:  I saw that you went for a kiss and a hand-hold.

bost:  (tries to grab the glasses off my face)

me:  Mommy said that was only your second play-date with her.

bost:  (finds a nana puff on the floor and stuffs it in his mouth)

me:  Here's the deal dude.  I'm no expert, but I did bag a foxy lady like your mom, so I do know a thing or two about wooing the ladies.

bost:  (Starts crying.  He's either hungry or trying to say TMI.)

We continue our conversation in the high chair.  This way he can't run away.

me:  The first tip is to play it cool.  Girls love a bad boy.  Low-ride your diaper.  Don't pick up your toys when you're done. Stay up past your bedtime.  The girls eat that stuff up.   You don't want to come off as needy.

bost:  (smears licorice all over his face)

me:  The second tip is to only go 90 and let her come the remaining 10.  You went for the kill and got shut down.  You felt awkward.  She felt awkward.  The good news is that Mommy's first kiss was someone's shoulder as well and she turned out alright.  (Don't tell her I told you that).

bost:  (smears licorice onto his chest)

me:  Finally, girls love a dancer.  The head-banging was cute, but when it comes down to it, girls want to be spun, twirled, tossed in the air, and pulled through a guy's legs when dancing.  Especially if it's by an Antonio Banderas look-alike, with his shirt unbuttoned, revealing his hairy chest.

bost:  (looks up from his licorice mess)

me:   I don't get it either.  So get crackin on the chest hair, and I'll teach you a few moves.

bost: (goes back to his licorice)

me:  Good talk, son.

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For more funny posts by Jmac, head over to The Daddy Diaries!

(Maybe I'm biased...but I think my husband is pretty dang funny! Haha!)