Slowing down.

Sometimes I have random moments of clarity. Moments where life suddenly makes perfect sense, and I realize what I need to change to be happier in life. Moments where I go, "Kelsey! Woman! Get yourself together. You've gotta' figure this out." 

One thought keeps recurring in my mind recently, and it goes a little something like:

I am letting myself be sucked into the chaotic craziness of life. And because of it, I'm missing out on the joy I could be feeling if I just slowed down a little.

(It seems like, DUH, when I write it down. I mean, of course.)

Sometimes this thought hits me as I'm racing through the grocery store, or as I'm talking on the phone while making breakfast and switching the laundry and putting on my make-up, or while I'm hurrying my kids along so I can get a zillion other things done. 

"Go go go!" 

"Hurry up! We need to get home!"

"We need to hop in the car! Come on! Hurry guys!"

"Let's go to the store--hurry!!"

"Come on, buddy! We need to go NOW!"

Those words come out of my mouth so much. And I don't like it.

I don't want my kids remember me always snapping at them and telling them to hurry. I don't want them to think that I didn't care about what they had to say to me. I don't want them to rush through life, and I don't want to either.

I want to be there to answer all of their questions about the world as they grow up. I want them to know that I love them, and I am so proud of the beautiful crayon masterpiece they just created. I want to be down at eye-level with them as they discover an ant crawling along the sidewalk; I want to be out in the field playing soccer with them in the grass. I want to be there to kiss their cheeks and share their bowls of cheerios.

I need them to see that I care. I need to cherish every moment I have with them. 

And to do this, I am realizing that I need to consciously slow down my life. I need to get off my phone and dive into my kids' imaginary worlds at playtime. I need to avoid rushing, and embrace my day as it comes. I need to look my babies in the eyes and listen to them. I need to drop to my knees at a moment's notice and be there for them, no matter what I am in the middle of. I don't want to look back and wish that I had been more attentive and involved with my kids. I will make the choice and the changes, and I will do it NOW.

Because life is short. And I want my family to know that they are what matters. They are what I love most, and they are my priority. Everything else is just white noise, and it will be easily forgotten.

***

{These photos were taken on a night where we decided to stop running around and doing errands for a bit, and just let our kids play in the grass. It was a gorgeous Kentucky summer evening, the sun was setting, and it was perfect.}

^^I CANNOT GET ENOUGH.^^

^^I love him.^^

^^I know. I can't handle it either. THE CUTENESS IS TOO MUCH!^^

^^"Mom! Look at me! I so brabe!!"